America's 250th Birthday: Are We the Fun Divorced Dad at the World Party?

America 250 — what? We don't totally know what that means either. 

But we DO know what each state would bring to the birthday party (Wisconsin: cheese, obviously), what America should grow out of (being "assholes to other countries"), and exactly what kind of person America is at the world party (the fun divorced dad with candy and fireworks, obviously).

Kelly and Don break down the America 250 semiquincentennial — the ball drops, the tall ships, the mascot named George — and try to figure out what this country is actually about at 250 years old. Is it a midlife crisis? A birthday bash? Both?

From Ben Franklin's reluctant constitution consent to the "tuff vs. enough" American exports debate, this is Two Awesome People decoding America's 250th the only way they know how — with questions, laughs, and a whole lot of "wait, really?"

🎬 New episodes every Tuesday! Subscribe so you don't miss next week.

👉 We're Kelly and Don — two people decoding today's biggest cultural trends together. We don't have all the answers, but we're figuring it out alongside you.

Chapters: 

0:00 — Welcome to the America Episode
0:45 — Semi-Quincentennial Confusion
1:25 — What Would Every State Bring?
1:55 — John Adams & Thomas Jefferson’s Wild July 4th
4:40 — How America Is Celebrating 250
6:00 — Sail 250 & Tall Ships
7:20 — America 250 Mascot Talk
9:20 — What America Means to Us
11:35 — Top Quintessentially American Things
14:00 — Benjamin Franklin: “Good Enough”
15:10 — Kelly’s Historical Speed Round
16:20 — America’s National Midlife Crisis
18:10 — What America Should Grow Out Of
20:00 — American Exports: Tuff or Enough
21:05 — Gettysburg Address & Unfinished Work
22:15 — America at the World Party
23:35 — Is America 250 Worth Celebrating?
25:40 — Give It Time: “Niche”
27:20 — Recommendations: Hacks & The Tonys
28:40 — Happy Birthday, America

Two Awesome People, America 250, semi quincentennial, semiquincentennial, Fourth of July, July 4th, America podcast, married couple podcast, funny podcast, Don and Kelly, American history, America birthday, America turns 250, USA 250, quintessentially American, American culture, Gen Z slang, niche slang, John Adams Thomas Jefferson, Gettysburg Address, National Parks, hot dogs, American exports, podcast comedy

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Reach out to us directly : don.broida@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

All right.

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to our America episode. America. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:04

I think it's America.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

It's time to party. America's turning 250.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

She's old.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Is she looking good?

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Some parts of her are looking her age. A little senile.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

I'm thrilled for this episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Proud to be an American.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

We're gonna party like it's 1776.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Those parties probably suck.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

By about like eight o'clock, it was candlelight.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Well, also just everything that they had to wear all the time.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

And all the dirt?

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I would not do well.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

This 4th of July is America's semi-quintennial sub-birth. How do you say it?

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Such a fun word. Semi-quincentennial.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

What? Can you say it faster?

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Semi-quincentennial.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Semi-kin. This is our quincineta.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Back at you.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

If every state was to bring a dish to this party, what would each state bring?

SPEAKER_01 0:58

You want me to go through 50 of them.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

We're gonna be here a long time just going through dishes of states.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Wisconsin. Cheese.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

New York.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Uh hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

California. I don't know it's $15 smoothie.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

We would bring the quinoa.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Gluten-free cookies that have no sugar or butter.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

That's called a cracker, Don.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Those are terrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

What do you think Kansas would bring?

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Kansas Barbecue.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Then what would Texas bring?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Texas Barbecue.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Oh, you can't just name a state and then say barbecue after everyone else.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

North Carolina barbecue. Good God. I got a fact for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

You do?

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Right off the bat.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Just for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

And whoever else wants to listen.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Oh. I don't want to share, Don.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Uh, the Declaration of Independence.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I've heard of that.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

The thing that we're celebrating.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

It was signed.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

250 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

There you go. July 4th, 1776. Do you know what happened exactly 50 years later?

SPEAKER_01 1:54

I don't have the foggiest idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Two of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both died on that same day.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Were they the same age?

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Dang it. I don't know. Yeah, you're going too deep for me. Too deep. But they both. That's uncredible, Don. Does that mean it's false?

SPEAKER_01 2:16

I was making a joke, Don. Welcome to humor, Don. It would probably mean that it isn't credible, but maybe that's what incredible means, too. I bet that technically that's what that means.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

You're incredible, Don.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

They both died on the same day. They were kind of um frenemies.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Do you know why? No. If the real housewives existed back then, they like wouldn't go to each other's cocktail parties.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

I don't think back in that day women were allowed out.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

It would be the real men of Philadelphia or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

We should make the real men of 1776. Oh, boring as shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Maybe. Maybe they were wild.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

So Thomas Jefferson died first.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

You mean on that day?

SPEAKER_00 3:03

On that day. Uh-huh. And because they had no like phones or anything like that, John Adams didn't know that he died. So right before John Adams died, he pronounced the famous quote, Thomas Jefferson survives.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

You say that that's a famous quote. I've never heard it in my life.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

It's very similar to Forescore.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

You seriously, before reading that, had heard that quote. No. But it is supposedly calling it a famous quote.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

The internet called it a famous quote.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

My favorite quote of all time. He yeah, that's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Right before he dies, he thinks his friend survived, and that was his last words.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Bitter. What I would like to imagine, hold that thought, is that he actually was like very ill in bed, and then he like lurched upright and he sat upright and he clenched his fist.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Damn you, Thomas Jefferson.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

That's super dramatic.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

That may have been how it was.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

It might be how that very famous quote was delivered.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

Unbeknownst to John Adams, Thomas Jefferson was actually already dead. Jokes on him died looking like a fool. You a damn fool. What do you think that somebody rode over on their pony and said, Thomas Jefferson is dead? They said, Oh, we thought he was alive.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

He went out looking real bad.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

I think he would be a fun person to interpret history with.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Oh. Thanks, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Donnie Kelly interpret history.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Sweet.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

So America 250, what's happening?

SPEAKER_01 4:42

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 4:43

But how is the collective country celebrating?

SPEAKER_01 4:45

They're doing the New Year's Eve ball drop. Hell yeah. They're not doing it once and they're not doing it twice. They are going to drop the ball eight times on July 3rd and July 4th. Because evidently America has eight time zones.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

I know one.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Neat, Don. It drops beginning at 10 a.m. Eastern on July 3rd.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Oh, you know why? It goes all the way back to like the islands, probably in the Pacific, that are on the other time zone.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Yes. The first drop is at 10 a.m. Eastern, and the last drop is at 7 a.m. Eastern on the fourth.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

America is so big. We cover eight time zones.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

They're just gonna have to keep dropping and cranking it back up.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

What is that called in the South Pacific? Micronesia.

unknown 5:42

Ha!

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Micronesia. Nazi. Micronesia. They're also doing this whole thing about um charitable giving, and it's called give, give forth or giving forth. No, Don, this is good. Wait, wait, wait. They want to make the 4th of July the biggest um like philanthropic day of American history.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

All they have to do to have that happen is just have Elon write a check for like three billion dollars, and we've done it.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Do you think he'll do that?

SPEAKER_00 6:15

No.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

No. So we're gonna do it this way.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

You know what I'm excited for? Hot dogs? No. Well, yes. Fireworks. Okay, stop guessing. That was a rhetorical question. Okay. I'm excited for the sale 250. Did you hear about this? So the sale 250 is going to be the biggest maritime uh ship meetup.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

I'm just gonna be stereotypical for a minute because I'm a woman. It sounded like it was a sale, like all the stores are gonna be 50% off.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

America 250. Let's go buy shit.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

All right, sorry, continue.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

No, it's it's like the largest meeting of our ships, essentially.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

They're just gonna hang out. Yeah, that's weird.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

There's gonna be six.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

You know what, Don? That's not very smart because that's just creating a target.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Wow, way to get dark. Golly, you weren't supposed to let them know.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

I know. I gave them an idea.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

So there's gonna be 60 tall ships.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

The short ones aren't invited.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

I don't even I didn't even research beyond 60 tall ships.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

Yeah, because you read that and you were like, that's all I need.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

60 tall ships in the New York Harbor with the New York skyline. Say no more. I am tuning in.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

The giving day has an ambassador. It's obviously Sean White, the snowboarder.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Because he gives a lot.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Maybe it's the red hair. People who have red hair give a lot.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Maybe they should just have like a whole army of redheads that are like inspiring people to give.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

This is our redheaded army of givers.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

It would be funny if scientifically that is a fact.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

It was a giving gene. Those gingers know how to give.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Oh my god, they motivate you.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Was I not supposed to say ginger?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

I don't know if that's bad to say.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Is it derogatory to say ginger?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

I'm not sure. You're not saying fire crotch. Look how uncomfortable you are with that. She's fire crotch. You sort of giggled in a nervous way.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

There is a America 250 mascot. Believe it or not.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Everything in America needs a mascot.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Is it shirtless Uncle Sam dressed as a redneck?

SPEAKER_01 8:27

A buffed up Uncle Sam.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Oh, yeah. It's gotta be buffed up Uncle Sam. It could be how it is now. With his shirt ripping.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

It's not Uncle Sam and it's not an eagle.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

A hippo? I think you're confused. A truck with big truck nuts.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

It's a star with a happy face, and its name is George.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

We could have done America's Mammal, which do you know what the America's mammal is?

SPEAKER_01 8:52

There's specifically a mammal. Is there also a reptile?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

I don't know. That's a good question. Is there an amphibian?

SPEAKER_01 9:00

But it's like an elk.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

America's mammal is the bison.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

I feel like that's on a seal, isn't it? Why can I imagine that? Because I'm an imaginative person. Are you gonna get the app, Don? Did you know that there's an America 250 app? No, I'm not gonna get an app. You should get this app because the America 250 app will tell you about celebrations all over the country.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

You know what they should do for it is they should do like a voice changer so you can talk into it and it comes out sounding like George Washington.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

But nobody knows what George Washington sale did like. What if George Washington sale did like this?

SPEAKER_00 9:39

You don't know. So here's what to watch, other than Nation Nathan's national hot dog, is National Geographic is launching a programming called Explore the Nation's Stories. Sounds fun. It does. ABC uh airs Disney celebrates America, the pursuit of happiness. I wonder what that is. I think it's all about the pursuit of happiness in America. David Muir.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

I like the way he said his name. Do it again.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

David Muir, which I even knew who that was.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Hey, I know you from TV.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

You got a guy on the tube. Uh it explores people, places, defining moments in our nation's history.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

These all kind of sound like the same thing. Yeah. America 250 at its heart is about recognizing all that America has to offer and everything that went into making America what it is, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:35

I like that. What does America mean to you, Kelly? Um this just got deep and serious.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

It means home. What does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

I think it means a lot.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Oh. Do tell.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

I think home is actually the best way to put it.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Okay. Well, that's not a lot, then.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

No, I think America to me is optimism. I think Americans uh are forward-looking, excited for the future, optimistic, innovators. Uh, we don't like being told no. We don't like being held down.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

But that's about the people, and you're talking more about the country, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I think it's kind of one and the same.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah, the people, the country. I think it is still the land of opportunity. And that's where we were, and that's what it is that you can redefine yourself and make a podcast. Just like us. Thank you, America. Podcasting came from America. Yeah. Top 10 things that are quintessentially American.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Wearing athleisure to very expensive places. I would say not even very expensive places. I would say wearing athleisure everywhere when you're not being athletic or leisurely.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I can't hate on it because I wear athle leisure wear. Next up, drive-throughs for everything. We got drive-throughs for coffee, for food.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

We just never want to leave our cars, which really another thing that's quintessentially American is a big ass car.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

And truck nuts. Quintessentially American.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Huge parking lot.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Massive.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

I would even put an addition on that one. Poorly designed bullshit parking lots, too.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Quintessentially American. Asking how are you? and not even wanting an answer.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

How are you? But meaning hi.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

No other country does that.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Also saying we should get together soon.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

And then doing nothing about it.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

It just means bye.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Awkward conversations end.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Those aqua taco situations.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Let's get out of this aqua taco. Hey, you want to hang out? Let's go make it even more awkward. What is quintessentially American?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Air conditioning so cold. You need to wear a sweater.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

That is our house.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

I just disagree.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

You're a furnace, and I'm a reptile.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

I like this one. A grocery store aisle dedicated entirely to cereal. There are so many cereals.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Captain Crunch. Crap. Captain Crapton. You have Captain Crunch. Captain Crunch with mixed berries. Crap, Captain Crunch chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Where did you go with the one that is a tongue twister? Captain Crunch. You should have gone Cheerios on this one. It's so much easier to say. Multi-grain Cheerios, honey nut Cheerios. Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios. What other Cheerios are there?

SPEAKER_00 13:26

I don't know. I was more impressed with how well you were.

SPEAKER_01 13:29

You're saying Captain Crunch. It's like it is literally a tongue twister.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

America, we have an aisle entirely dedicated to cereal.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

It should be America. We have an aisle for that.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

And then you go to Costco and you're like, we have a warehouse for that. Quintessentially American. Trophies for participation. Do I need to say more?

SPEAKER_01 13:48

No. Is that quintessentially American? Do you think other countries don't do that?

SPEAKER_00 13:53

No.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

Maybe other countries don't have as much participation. Quintessentially American.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Texting almost there when you're in the shower.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Maybe for that person, that constitutes being almost there. Quintessentially American dog strollers. Also dog purses.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Or cat backpacks. We just like our animals not to walk. My quintessential American fact on the final day of writing the Constitution, Benjamin Franklin famously urged delegates to set aside their egos, admitting the Constitution was imperfect. And he conceded, I consent, sir, to this constitution because I expect no better, and because I am not sure that it is not the best.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

It could be the best. It might not be.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

I think we're done. Maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Works for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Good enough.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

I'm glad that we've based our entire country and history on that.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Um, Kelly, life is about the journey.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Not the destination.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Not the destination. Thank you for ending that.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Did you not know how it ended?

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Well, then I was going to. It's not the means to an end, but the end to the means.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

That would be saying it's the means, not the end, which is not a saying.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

To celebrate America 250, we have Kelly's historical speed round.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

You just want me to rattle these off as fast as you can. 1776, we declared independence. 1791. We wrote down basic freedoms. 1863 to 1865. We moved toward ending slavery. That is the like weakest sentence I've ever said out loud.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Kind of started to end slavery.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

1872, we invented national parks. 1920, women won the right to vote. 1935, Social Security began.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

1944, the GI Bill helped veterans build lives. 1940.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Thank you, all veterans, for everything you've given. America's 250 because of our veterans.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

1945, we helped defeat fascism.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Ooh. Take that, Hitler.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

We're like superheroes. 1948, we helped rebuild Europe.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

We rebuild everywhere now.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

That's not true. 1950s, we helped beat polio. Wouldn't do that now either. 1964 to 1965. Civil rights and voting rights expanded the American promise. 1969, we landed on the moon. Also 1969, we started the path to the internet.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

And here we are on it.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

We're on the path.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Here's my midlife joke. America is turning 250, which is basically the national midlife crisis. We're old enough to have wisdom, young enough to make terrible decisions.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

This is your stand-up routine. Wow, Don. Do it again. Make it snappy. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

America's in midlife crisis. We're old enough to be wise, young enough to be dumb, and old and rich enough to buy fireworks. I don't know why I'm looking at you.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

You don't have to be rich to buy fireworks. Do you know how my fireworks work?

SPEAKER_00 17:17

The big booming ones? Oh, yeah, that shit ain't cheap.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

So there's the big booming ones, and then there's the little missing ones. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

The snake.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah. The ones that we buy. Yeah. That was a really good routine that you just did. Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

This is why I never wanted to stand up.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Stop me if you've heard this one. So knowing that the Constitution was not written for another 15 years, what does the America 250 really mean to you, Don?

SPEAKER_00 17:46

America 250 means to me, Kelly. I'm like Barbara Walters. But what does it mean? For me, America 250 is a moment where we can dive into our history, uh, teach our kids, and uh maybe reflect on what is excellent about this country. Damn, did you see that?

SPEAKER_01 18:08

That was good, Don. Did you see that? All that mental preparation really paid off for you. The divisiveness in the country right now changes the necessity to celebrate America 250 because I think that having a unifying reason to honor the country is important.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Our country is in that period of a marriage where you both love each other and you both live in the same house, but maybe you're talking and disagreeing a little bit more and less than you would normally.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

More and less. So if you want to use the marriage analogy, then if you're in a marriage and there's a reason to celebrate something together, okay. So that's all I'm saying, Don. I love that. What should America grow out of, Don, that we're into right now? What do you think we should just move on from?

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Being assholes to other countries. That was a good answer, huh?

SPEAKER_01 19:22

It is. It's one that I feel like I would say, and you would look at me like, oh, don't go there, Kelly. Here, here.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Wait, what was your question again?

SPEAKER_01 19:31

It was how are you today? I'm doing pretty nice. Oh, okay, good. No, what do you think America should grow out of? You know what else I think America should grow out of? Um, some reality TV that is just spectacle watching.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

I don't watch that. I've moved on.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Did I accuse you of watching it? Why are you accusing me, Kelly? I was just saying, like, as a whole, like maybe we shouldn't like make it all the time. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

We need to grow out of wearing clothes that are too small.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Who wears? What do you mean clothes that are too small?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Only in America do you see clothes that don't properly fit people.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Really?

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Yes. Okay. Alrighty.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Noted. Moving on.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Right here, American Exports. Tough, which is this cool Gen Z way of saying cool.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yes, it's tough meaning T-U-F-F.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Tough or enough.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

So enough means stop it.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

Yeah. American Exports. Number one, Mr. Rogers.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Tough.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Gender reveal parties.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Enough.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Fast food.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Tough.

SPEAKER_00 20:31

iPhone.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Tough.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Reality TV.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Enough.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Kim Kardashian.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Enough.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

I like her.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

I just can't.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

I'd go tough.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Pumpkin spice. Enough.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Tom Cruise running. Tough. Super tough.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

I'd watch him run all day, any day.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Musk, Zuck, and the Tech Bros. Small talk. Uniquely American.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

I don't really have a opinion on small talk.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

National Park. Tough. Peanut butter. Tough. So the Gettysburg Address was 1863. What we know is the fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent. That's like the famous part.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

Just as famous as Thomas Jefferson survives, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:13

But it goes on to say it is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. Basically, it's him saying we are constantly working to improve. And let's not blow this whole damn thing up.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

I'm inspired, Don. Thank you for inspiring me.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

America 250 is less we nailed it, and more we're in couples therapy, but we're showing up.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Is this another one of your stand up jokes? Oh my god. That was so good.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

I should go on the road.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

We need a laugh track. Don't quit your.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Your day job. Kelly.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Dawn.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Kelly.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Dawn.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

What do we want the next 250 years to look like?

SPEAKER_01 22:06

I hope it looks prosperous and peaceful. What would you like?

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Optimism and hope and excitement for the future.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

We're such good people.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Maybe. I don't have nothing to do with us being good people.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Just kidding. I'm so sure that I would say that. What I meant was, I'm such a good person.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

No, I'm just wouldn't quite call you Mother Teresa and wouldn't quite call you Hitler. Somewhere in between.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

So glad you wouldn't call me Hitler, Don.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

You're somewhere between those two.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Wow. Hopefully I'm closer to one end than the other. Don, who is America at the world party? America is the loud, rich uncle at the world party.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

America is the tech bro who thinks every problem can be solved with an app, a rocket, or a disruption.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

America is also the hippie who believes in freedom, nature, self-expression, road trips, music festivals, farmers markets, national parks, and finding yourself.

SPEAKER_00 23:03

America is the theater kid with nukes. Big emotions, big speeches, big entrances, big dramatic lighting, but occasionally terrifying.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

America is the fun divorced dad who shows up with candy, fireworks, a convertible, and no bedtime rules. Did you write that?

SPEAKER_00 23:22

You mean this?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Well, somewhat. I read a little bit. Yeah, you want to hear another marriage?

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Oh, another joke for our next act. We've got Dawn. Let's hear it for Dawn. What do you got for us?

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Let's go to our verdict, Kelly. What is the thesis of this podcast?

SPEAKER_01 23:41

That America's 250th birthday is coming up.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 23:47

And that it's important to celebrate it because it is at its core a unifying celebration of all things that are good about America.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

That's wonderful.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Is that a verdict or is that the thesis?

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Is it important to celebrate America 250? Ooh, I like that. That's the question. And the verdict that I would say is yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

I would second that. It is important to celebrate America 250. Now let's ask the AI.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

So I asked ChatGPT, is it important to celebrate America 250? And its answer is that it depends on what you mean by important. Gee, helpful, right? Many people see it as an opportunity to learn about the country's history and founding, reflect on how the nation has changed over 250 years, celebrate achievements in democracy, science, culture, and civil rights. Others may choose the anniversary to think critically about American history, including both accomplishments and failures. For them, the occasion is more about reflection than celebration.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

I'm in group A.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

The significance is largely personal and depends on your values, interests, and connection to the country's history.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Oh, it's a shitty answer, Chat GPT.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

The answer can't be like, yes, you must celebrate it.

SPEAKER_00 25:16

Yes, it's incredibly important. Shall we give it time, Kelly? Do you have a prediction?

unknown 25:23

I don't have a prediction.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Okay. I got my give it time, my prediction. It like last week, I am going with a word that is uh abounding us.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

It's abounding us. Yes. What is this word?

SPEAKER_00 25:38

It's swallowing us, and we have heard it a lot. And if you have a young kid, you will hear it. And it is niche. Everything from our son is niche this, niche that, niche, niche, niche, niche.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Not even used properly, we should say.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Slang-wise, he is using it properly. Oh, is he? From what I've researched. Gen Z use it to refer to aesthetics, internet memes, inside jokes, interests that appeal to small specific groups rather than mainstream. So basically, niche in Gen Z slang is anything that is not mainstream.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Nate had a friend over.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

He was using a straw or a utensil, and he called it niche. So that was used correctly because you and I definitely looked at each other and were like, the hell.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

He most likely thought that it was a unique straw. You'll often hear that's so niche, which means it's like very particular. An inside joke could be referred to once you are told you are let in on the niche. Because you now understand it's not a mainstream joke. It's is it ever pronounced niche? And then the other thing is if you don't understand something, you can say sorry if this is too niche.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Or you could be like, I'm niche ignorant. I'm niche grint.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

Well, Kelly, you and I are very niche. Totes.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

I love to just say totes. You know what? My givea time is gonna be that totes is kind of could make a comeback. Totes means totally. What? You don't know. Maybe it's so niche on that people don't know it anymore. You see what I did there?

SPEAKER_00 27:23

That was pretty rad. Niche is the opposite of basic.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Well, totes is the opposite of basic.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

All right. Well, that's our predictions. More a word of the week at this moment.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

That is catching on. Just because we hear it so much, we're so sick of it. One last thing before we log off, we got a few recommendations. Kelly, you got a recommendation?

SPEAKER_01 27:43

I do. I started watching hacks the final season, and it's fucking delightful. And I recommend it to everybody. I love when TV shows are fun to watch because you can tell they had fun making it. Because I want to be part of that world, Don. There are many shows that I have felt this way about, and I feel that way about hacks.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Speaking of fun to make, my recommendation is to watch the beginning of the Tonies. Yes, it's weird. We're not Broadway people. We are film people.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

Sounds so pretentious.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

We watched We are film people. Let me tell you about cinema. Uh, but the beginning of the Tonies we watched the other day. It is with Pink. It was the Tonies were about two to three weeks ago. And it is just a really fun performance. Well, Kelly.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Happy birthday, America.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

I love that we did an America episode.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

I love that you love it.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

I love that you love that. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

So much love in this room.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

We're proud, Americans. Thank you for the veterans and everybody that has done everything for us to give us our freedoms.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

All right.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

We should not take it for granted.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

We will celebrate you with hot dogs and beer.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Thank you for listening, uh, watching this week. Please like, subscribe, share if you enjoyed this.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Let us know what you think of Don's shirt.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

All right. Bye, everybody.